elinka: (avitalukr)
Dear Egypt, Please don't ruin the Pyramids, we will not rebuild them. Sincerely, the Jews.



Dec. 26th, 2010 03:41 pm
elinka: (wikileak2)
Dear Kids,
There is no Santa. Those presents are from your parents.
Sincerely, Wikileaks.
elinka: (kuryat)

Папа-в-законе прислал на днях веселую песенку, так что все претензии к нему.

elinka: (news)

Claiming that the First Amendment to the Constitution does more harm than good, the United States Congress met in secrets session yesterday calling for the Amendment’s repeal.

The House of Representatives voted 400 to 35 in favor of repealing most of the amendment but left in the part about freedom of religion.
Read more... )
elinka: (prague)
Dear Fellow Jew,

Even though the current economic situation is very tough for all of us, we turn to you for help for a Chosson who just recently got engaged. His whole life nebach has been one of great tragedy, his parents were divorced when he was still a young child and when he was just eighteen years old his mother was a passenger in a car that was involved in major accident and unfortunately died as a result of the injuries she sustained.Read more... )

shavua tov

Sep. 4th, 2010 10:12 pm
elinka: (fish net)
The Origin of Separate Seating

Once a great Rosh Yeshiva was sitting at a wedding with his wife (yes, with
his wife).

When dessert came, his eyes opened wide and he took a huge slice of cake,
then another.

His wife said "You shouldn't be having that."

And he said, "That's it -- separate seating at simchas".
elinka: (kuryat)

Just to clarify things, here are the Top Ten Signs you are at the
Clinton/ Mezvinsky Wedding!

10. The glass broken at the end of ceremony has a Presidential seal
9. Defcon1 alert called in when the couple gets lifted up on chairs
8. It's separate seating: Republicans and Democrats
7. Secret Service codename for the Mezvinskys: "The Mach-a-tanim" (jewish for in-laws)
6. Pretty sure you just saw Jimmy Carter dancing the Horah
5. Blessing over the Challah is made by the Secretary of Agriculture
4. Hope to G-d that Bill isn't wearing the same yarmulke he wore at the Rabin funeral
3. Nothing cooler than CIA agents using the words: Shmorg, Chuppah, Yichud room
2. Dancing with the Stars: Bill & Hilary dance the Mezinka!
1. When wishing Mazal tov, someone confuses Mezvinsky with Lewinsky!

elinka: (obama3)
You know the honeymoon is over when the comedians start.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society. The other is for housing prisoners. David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
David Letterman

Purim fun

Mar. 2nd, 2010 11:14 pm
elinka: (purim)
Our shul put out this survey for Purim. I thought it was funny and very relevant.

elinka: (web)
A Parable

The writer of this brilliant piece remains unknown. It was posted to a blog on the internet ... 18 June 2009.

A Bit of History From the Jewish Colony of the 453rd Solar System of the M Galaxy

The Jews settled the moon in 2053, just about five years after the end of the Islamic Wars of the 40's, where the Middle East, and Israel, of course, had been obliterated by nuclear weapons. Read more... )
elinka: (kuryat)
das blinkenlights

An old phrase used to refer to the myriad of blinking lights on old mainframes, it is still popular because Hollywood often uses the term in sci-fi thrillers.

The historical perspective on this phrase is that it comes from a humorous sign commonly seen in mainframe computer rooms:

Alle touristen und non-technischen lookenpeepers! Das machine is nicht fur fingerpoken und mittengrabben. Is easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzen sparken. Das machine is diggen by experten only. Is nicht fur gerwerken by das dummkopfen. Das rubbernecken sightseeren keepen das cottenpicken hands in das pockets. Relaxen und watchen das blinkenlights."

taken from here
elinka: (nyc sewer)
[livejournal.com profile] arbat shared this great site with us, don't miss it.

elinka: (fish net)

Из почты
elinka: (rep)

Agenda for the 2008 Democratic National Convention

5:00 PM Barack Obama speaks on hope and change.

7:00 PM Opening flag burning.

7:15 PM Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. In Spanish.

7:20 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:25 PM Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

7:45 PM Ceremonial tree hugging.

7:55 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:00 PM 'How I Invented the Internet' - Al Gore.

8:10 PM Stamping out nuclear proliferation.--Madeline Albright

8:15 PM Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding.

8:35 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:40 PM 'Our Troops are War Criminals' - John Kerry.

8:45 PM Recess the convention to burn local Hummer dealership.

9.00 PM Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon.

9:10 PM How to Handle Iranian Crisis--Jimmy Carter

9:15 PM Why Democrats are more intelligent--Barbara Boxer

10:00 PM Summary trial of last gun owner in Massachusetts.

10:30 PM Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender -- French President Jacques Chirac

10:55 PM Why I Hate the Military, a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.

11.00 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 PM Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbara Streisand.

11:15 PM 'Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay' - Sean Penn.

11:30 PM 'Oval Office Affairs' - William Jefferson Clinton.

11:45 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:50 PM 'How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers' - Howard Dean & Rosie O'Donnell.

12:15 am 'Truth in Broadcasting Award' - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore.

12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi.

12:50 am Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of 'The Great Satan' G.W.Bush.

12:55 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters.

1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party.

1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

Alex, thanks.


elinka: (Default)

January 2012

1516171819 20 21


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Sep. 20th, 2017 12:24 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios