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Agenda for the 2008 Democratic National Convention

5:00 PM Barack Obama speaks on hope and change.

7:00 PM Opening flag burning.

7:15 PM Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. In Spanish.

7:20 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:25 PM Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.

7:45 PM Ceremonial tree hugging.

7:55 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:00 PM 'How I Invented the Internet' - Al Gore.

8:10 PM Stamping out nuclear proliferation.--Madeline Albright

8:15 PM Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding.

8:35 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:40 PM 'Our Troops are War Criminals' - John Kerry.

8:45 PM Recess the convention to burn local Hummer dealership.

9.00 PM Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon.

9:10 PM How to Handle Iranian Crisis--Jimmy Carter

9:15 PM Why Democrats are more intelligent--Barbara Boxer

10:00 PM Summary trial of last gun owner in Massachusetts.

10:30 PM Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender -- French President Jacques Chirac

10:55 PM Why I Hate the Military, a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.

11.00 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 PM Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbara Streisand.

11:15 PM 'Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay' - Sean Penn.

11:30 PM 'Oval Office Affairs' - William Jefferson Clinton.

11:45 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:50 PM 'How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers' - Howard Dean & Rosie O'Donnell.

12:15 am 'Truth in Broadcasting Award' - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore.

12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi.

12:50 am Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of 'The Great Satan' G.W.Bush.

12:55 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters.

1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party.

1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton.

1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

Alex, thanks.